Say what you will about Gene Simmons; the KISS bassist damn well knows how to make a quick few thousand bucks.
Long renowned/reviled for his prodigious talent at turning a profit from the iconic hard-rockers' legacy, Simmons' latest entrepreneurial gambit is all about similarly celebrating his solo efforts.
Credit where it's due: Simmons has had a remarkably resilient career as a musician. He's been in the rock game for 50 years now — 43 of them spent with KISS — and that's the impetus for his latest money-maker, Gene Simmons: The Vault Experience.
The limited-edition collectible box set, which comes in a literal 38-pound vault, includes a wealth of worthwhile stuff for any fan of his music, including 150 previously unreleased songs and three additional exclusive tracks, a leather-bound book of never-before seen photos, limited-edition collectibles (such as an oversized "In Gene We Trust" medallion), and a one-of-a-kind, hand-selected piece of memorabilia from his personal collection.
So, in fairness, there's a fair amount of seriously valuable stuff crammed into this thing.
Priced at $US2000 (about $2490), the kicker is that these vault purchases also include Gene Simmons travelling to hand-deliver the ludicrously packaged items to their buyers at events around the world.
According to the fine print, "some scheduling and travel restrictions may apply"; he's currently down to hit Australian shores on 27-28 January 2018 (in-between his stops in Detroit and Miami), so best make yourself available then, if this is up your alley.
The "experience" also includes a bit of personal time with Gene "in your area", as well as an autograph session, a "Vault Pre-Pack" — a USB stick featuring first track Are You Ready, a signed golden ticket, exclusive T-shirt and laminate — and the opportunity to join a small group of other fans to hear a playback of songs and stories from the Vault, as well as take part in a Q&A session.
Look, Simmons says it better than we ever could.
For those (US fans) with real walkin'-around money, a $50,000 (about $62,000) option — "The Home Experience" — is also on the table, which includes the chance for the fan and up to 25 guests to hang out with Gene Simmons for two hours in their fucking house, as well as the "songs and stories" playback and Q&A session being held there instead of some random location nearby.
So, if you want to help Gene Simmons top up his Scrooge McDuck-style money tank that he dives into each night in KISS-branded bathers for a bit of lazy backstroke, head to the Vault Experience website.