Dead. I am dead inside. No wonder they call it the Day Three Deads. Just kidding, no one calls it that and I just made it up, but they should. Literally everyone trudging along kicking up dust with a bleary-eyed look knows the feeling.
If everyone here has walked about 40km each by the end of Splendour like I will have, the combined distance travelled by approximately 30,000 of us would be over a million kilometres. Pretty much the equivalent to 25 times the earth's circumference. Yeah, let that soak in.
But we gotta keep going because Splendour have left a bunch of their biggest acts until last. LCD Soundsystem are wrapping the festival today, and we're also catching Sigur Ros, LANY, Bonobo, Bishop Briggs and Meg Mac. It's again warmer today than the last two days and still no hint of a cloud! The skies really have been picture perfect for my first festival.
Today we stop by for a while at the Forum, absolutely spilling for today's Q&A session with a bunch of pollies. Moderated by the cheeky Tom Gleeson, Richard Di Natale, Anthony Albanese, Andrew Lemming, Chris Gatford and Marcie Wheeler are taking questions from punters about Adelaide's Tesla battery (makes sense as Elon Musk was spotted here just yesterday), Trump, the war on drugs, transgender/LGBTQI issues and climate change.
It's a pretty interesting debate and it shows what a progressive and socially aware demographic this festival pulls. Lemming says he's keen to watch AB Original so we run over there too, and of course Briggs and Trials are leading a fucking loud "no justice, no peace" chant! They centre their set around indigenous teenager Elijah Doughty, off the back of news that the man who ran him over had been found not guilty of manslaughter this week.
I've never seen the wonder that is a Client Liaison show but wow, what a good time. Monte Morgan is in an insane black suit with bright coloured '80s patterns, while Harvey Miller is in the white version. Tom Tilley and Geordie Miller step out in the monochrome versions of the same thing and together they're a kitschy '80s fever dream (in a good way). Since we have to jet early to see Oh Wonder, we miss the band bringing Tina Arena out on stage. Dammit!
"Managing 30,000 people is no easy task."
We head to the Tipi Forest today too - until now we've stayed away from the little rave nest - but today we catch the Teletubbies on pills, two bananas, wafts of weed and someone with sticks in their hair. The little area is surrounded by tipis to chill in as well as a larger tipi setup for the DJ - at the moment, Goosebumpz.
The Forum is on fire with their comedy bill tonight - Gen Fricker loses her train of thought but is hilarious anyway, Ben Russell goes on a ten-minute long tangent as a French creep and Aaron Chen literally throws a bar of wet soap into the audience. Headliner Dave Callan kicks off his set with a full on, step for step choreographed Beyoncé dance, then pulls up some male audience volunteers to teach them how to twerk.
Finishing off another stellar night of music, Bonobo creates a beautiful wall of sound at Mix Up and Meg Mac pulls such a huge crowd at GW McLennan she's definitely due for an upgrade to the Amphitheatre in future years. Take note, Secret Sounds!
Well, this Splendour noob made it. 38.6km in three days under my belt, gumboot chafe that makes me look like a Frankenmonster and a handful of bands I was delighted to stumble upon. I'm also coming away pretty damn impressed with the way a festival of this calibre was organised and flawlessly executed. Managing 30,000 people is no easy task.
There was never longer than a ten minute wait for a shuttle bus (and all the drivers dropped us exactly where we wanted!), plenty of delicious and diverse food choices, a ton of bathrooms (though, yes, most had giant lines so the toilets in the Gold Bar were my friend) and seamless changeovers between bands. Add to that an absolutely glittering, spirited cast of attendees and it's no wonder Splendour In The Grass is at the top of the music festival game.
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